Dealing with an abusive ex

There are annoying and inane situations in life that can drive a person to the point of madness. One instance that can drive one completely insane is dealing with an obsessive ex.

Obsessive exes make dealing with in-law drama seem like a party. They can also be compared to having a thousand thorns pricking your body from all angles. This situation is indeed a big problem which needs proper management to be eradicated.

An obsessive ex is simply an old flame still holding a creepy torch for you. Obsessive exes are creepy because of the fixation they have on their past lovers and their inability to let them go. They will do everything to get back their old partners back, irrespective of whether their actions are rational or irrational. Some of their behavioural patterns include but are not limited to stalking, compulsive and manipulative actions, physical harassment and verbal abuse. It is uncomfortable and can disrupt the life of the partner who is a victim of that behaviour. How can one manage an obsessive ex to avoid being at the receiving end of escalated neurotic actions?

If you are a victim, I know you are screaming murder but no. It’s too messy. There are five stages outlined in this article to combat this nuisance.

Stage One : Let him understand your disinterest

There is nothing that eggs on an obsessive ex than showing an interest in his life. Please turn a blind eye to his actions that do not concern you. As far as you are concerned, he doesn’t exist in your life. Be continually indifferent to him when he calls, texts or visits. That should put him off. Once he realizes his affections are not returned, he would back off and your life will return to normalcy.

Stage Two: Avoid all contact- out of sight, out of mind

If persistence fails, force is applied. If the obsessive ex-doesn’t put a stop to the calls and texts after you show nonchalance at his affections- block him. Add him to the auto reject list; block him on all social media platforms. Change your house locks and if possible install security gadgets at your home. This will enable you to avoid him.

Stage Three: Tell someone about the problem

People who share their problems are more likely to find solutions to their problems than people who don’t. Tell your family and friends about the obsessive behaviour of your ex. Families and friends provide support (advice, protection, comfort, backbone) in circumstances like this. There is strength in numbers so F&F can help you build a war front to combat the obsessive behavioural patterns of the ex.

Stage Four: If you know the loved ones of the ex, (Help him help himself)

Talk to the family and friends of the obsessive ex-boyfriend. Explain the problem to them and implore that they help you keep their friend or family away from you.

Stage Five: Take it a notch with the authorities

If he still comes after you, report him to the police or the chief’s court. They are well versed with issues of that nature. A restraining order can be obtained from these authorities so he can be incriminated if he keeps up with the behaviour.

In conclusion, one should stay strong when dealing with an obsessive ex. And remember that murder is not an option.

Best of luck