How to build a lasting marriage

Marriage is very sacrosanct as this institution was established by God with the first couple being Adam and Eve. In the creation story in the Bible, God made Adam and when He felt Adam was lonely, He made him fall asleep and made Eve from Adam’s rib.

The man was happy when he saw his woman. This clearly shows how great it is to have a companion. But sometimes, this rather important institution suffers setbacks and are not able to grow as is expected.

There are some few steps, however, needed to build a successful relationship or marriage.

Companionship

The most important thing in marriage is the ability of the couple to be there for each anytime. What is more disappointing than needing the audience of your partner and he or she is nowhere to be found.

On your wedding day, when everyone has left, it is the presence of each other that will serve as a catalyst for the just began journey. When they cuddle, indeed, they are demonstrating their willingness to be there for the other.

For every couple, companionship should be their topmost priority. For beauty and love that brought them together, can even decrease but it takes companionship to rekindle it.

Achievemnts

Couple must set goals for themselves and try to achieve them together. It is important for individuals to set goals for themselves, but as couples, there should also be some goals set together and achieved together.

If care is not taken, our individual goals might supersede our collective goals and this can bring about competition which in turn can birth jealousy among the couple.

For instance, the couple should dream of having company or companies together if they can afford and build homes together if it is within their means. While setting collective goals and trying to achieve them together, should not deprive individuals of achieving their goals.

The more couples set collective goals, the more they stay together and grow their marriage.

Sex

Undoubtedly, sex is important in marriage and even before couples are bonded spiritually, they should have had sex after their marriage. Sex is not only for procreation but for pleasure as well.

Whether married or not, individuals have the desire and urge to have sex and therefore it is natural that couple will engage in that act. But most time, couples focus on sex than anything, therefore, when one is not able to meet the other’s sexual need, problems begin to ensue.

As has already been stated, sex is important but should not be the ultimate aim of marriage but only one of them. At a time in life, sex will mean “nothing” at all to couples and therefore should not be their ultimate aim.

For example, people who have been married for more than 10 years are less likely to have frequent sex.

 Child making 

In our part of the world, i.e. Africa, when a newlywed couple is not able to bring forth a child in a year or two after their marriage, people, especially close relations, begin to talk about them and this could bring stress on the couple.

But for them, child-bearing should not be their main focus since it does not lie in their power to have a child or not. God can make someone a barren and others fruitful so child-bearing is only additional “profit” in marriage and no one is promised a child after marriage.

Therefore, couples should only be thankful to God if they have a child and if they do not get one, they should not see it as a FAILURE in life. Once you think that it is compulsory to have a child, it becomes stressful when it delays.

Couples must not bow to pressure from the society but sit down and arrange what they want to achieve in their marriage.

What this article seeks to do is to only guide couples.

The order of presentation will bring less pressure on couples because companionship, achievements, sex and child-bearing are “easy” to achieve than for instance, sex, child-bearing, achievement and companionship.