The ‘other’ woman also termed ‘side chick’ or mistress – every wife’s nightmare, every husband’s daydream or perhaps wet dream and every girlfriend’s fear (there is an exception though). Being the other woman comes with a lot of hurdles. To be able to play your role with ease you must be a pro or close to being an expert. This article expresses a few tips to help you to effectively be the other woman.
Is the relationship worth it?
Is being second on the list worth it? Is it absolutely necessary to be in such a relationship? Do your values fall in line with the role you’re playing? Is being in a secret amorous relationship and the joys that come with it enough?
If the answer to the question above is ‘yes’ then you know that it is something you have accepted in that you will enjoy the benefits and suffer the consequences knowing it was your choice. If the answer to the question above is ‘no’ then pack your bags and vanish from the relationship. Just kidding, you need to evaluate and prioritize. If your man is worth keeping, keep him. If not, say your goodbyes.
Know thyself
Being a mistress or side chick is not an easy job. You need to be smart especially if there is a vigilant wife close by. You need to assess yourself. Ask a few questions. Are you strong enough to handle jealousy or the fear that you will one day be displaced by someone else? Will the scraps of time given to you by the man suffice? Are you an overly needy person who needs her man close to her all the time or the clingy type? In being second best, you need to be tough and always know that no matter what you do you will still be second. If an analysis of yourself reveals you cannot manage such a relationship without losing your sanity, then you have to let him go or toughen up. If you can handle it and stay sane, you are good to go.
Other things you need to manage to include the making the scraps of time you enjoy with your man count. Since you can’t be together all the time, you need to efficiently and effectively make use of your time with him. Get the best from the little you are given.
Also, you need to learn how to substitute love, attention, time and care with money and gifts. It is not cheap to receive gifts from him as a substitute for love and attention. Gifts serve as compensation for the love and attention that cannot be showered all the time.
Furthermore, you need not lose your self-esteem because of your position. Though it may not be as glamorous as being married, don’t beat yourself for it. Enjoy being you and take pride in your choices.
Being the ‘other woman’ while fulfilling can be equally stressful, know your way around it and you can get most out of your relationship that is if you can get over all the hustles involved.
