Building Stage
The chillaxing period
Being single and waiting on God for a spouse can be a daunting assignment because it is a challenging period because in a world where the value of relationships has been cheapened and taken for granted that people just breeze in and out of relationships like they mean nothing. The proliferation of hookup sites and dating apps downplay the importance of the waiting period.
In a world where little stock is put in entering relationships, it can be a challenge for a single Christian man or woman to wait on God for a spouse.
The waiting period should not put the believer under a lot of stress and anxiety. (Philippians 4: 6-7) will help if you are feeling anxious during this period.
Many Christians trivialize this stage due to recent cultures and quickly rush out of this period into the arms of trouble. Instead of seeing is a period meant to be savored and enjoyed. For some believers, the waiting period lasts for a short while, and for others it can feel like eons. All in all, the waiting period is not
What is the chillaxing period?
It is a period where a single Christian is waiting on God for a Kingdom Spouse. In hindsight, being alone can be distressing and full of emotional strain but I am here to challenge that this period can be fulfilling if you allow the Holy Spirit to guide you through. With God’s help, this phase in your life will encompass a liberating and self-learning journey that will help streamline all the other stages of building a lasting relationship with your spouse.
The chillaxing period as I like to refer to the waiting period can also be defined as the chapter between quitting your previous relationship and going into a new relationship with your spouse.
Instead of looking at this period as a long period of loneliness, I want to draw your attention to the fact that this period can a represent a time where;
- One seeks God relentlessly: – It is the time when the believer discovers his identity in Christ and works towards attaining it. Has the believer accepted Christ as his Lord and personal Savior? Is he living fervently for the Lord and how he can serve God effectively? The believer achieves this by equipping himself with the knowledge of God to acquire the full measure of Christ (Ephesians 4:13, 2Timothy 2:15, Joshua 1:8, 2 Timothy 3:14-17, Hebrews 4:12, John 5:39, Psalm 119:9-11, 105, Proverbs 3:1-2, Colossians 3:16, etc.). This feat is also attained through immersing oneself in prayer (1 John 5:14-16, 1 Chronicles 16:11, 2 Chronicles 6:21, 2 Chronicle 7:14, Ephesians 1:18, Ephesians 6:18, Jeremiah 29:12, Job 22:27, James 5:13, Mark 11:24, Matthew 15:8, Psalm 141:2, Romans 12:12) and the fellowship with other believers (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:24-25, 1 John 1:3, 7, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Acts 2:42, Proverbs 27:17, etc.). This period presents a series of questions that the single believer must identify and answer.
- What is God’s purpose for my life?
- Am I fulfilling that purpose?
- What are my weaknesses and strengths?
- How do I build my capacity as a believer and a spouse?
- In what capacity can I serve the Lord?
- What goals have I put in place to fulfill my destiny?
- This phase in life although may seem lonely but can be the best time for the believer to develop his physical, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual capacity. During this period, there is the opportunity for the single believer to acquire new skills. Or it could be the time to upgrade, improve and advance oneself in his field. It also involves getting training and developing new skills, acquiring knowledge, and competencies in your career and ministry.
Activities: Traveling, meeting new people, serving in your church, reading books, and watching edifying videos. Find a mentor and/or be a mentor. Start a community project.
- It can also be the period where you get rid of unwanted and filthy habits that do not glorify the Lord and will harm your marriage (Titus 2:11). This is the time to get rid of sexual immorality, combat negative thoughts (2 Corinthians 10:4), bad company (Proverbs 13:20, 1 Corinthians 15:33) as well as anything that draws you from God (Hebrews 12:1& Galatians 5:19-21). If you find yourself in addiction you cannot get rid of, seek assistance from leaders in the faith. During this single phase, it is expected that the believer takes the opportunity to find out, break down and destroy evil altars, strongholds and, covenants present in his life (Judges 6:27-28). Other things that require urgent attention and remedy include conquering the fear and anxiety of being alone (2 Timothy 1:7, Philippians 4:6-7), purging yourself from bitterness by forgiving yourself and others (Matthew 6:14) and inhibiting the past from interfering in your present and future (Philippians 3:13-14).
Activities: To combat negative thoughts, put on the shield of faith. Build your faith through continuous study of the Word and fellowship with other Christians. Knowing what God has promised you will help you deflect negative and intrusive thoughts.
- Guard your heart: – Do not go falling for everyone who shows you the least attention. Be intentional about life during this waiting period. Do not let your emotions get an upper hand and lead you into the unthinkable. Pull the reins in on your emotions and practice self-control. Avoid getting overly attached if they have not fully committed to you with the affirmation of the Holy Spirit. Proverbs 4:23, Philippians 4:6-7, Colossians 3:5, 1 Thessalonians 5:1-8, Proverbs 7:25,
NB: Emotional Soul ties are as difficult to get rid of as sexual soul ties. Don’t cheapen your emotions or that of others.
- Maintain a pure and chaste life: – staying chaste in this phase of life can be very difficult to attain. With the ubiquity of filthy and sexually provocative materials, it is hard to keep oneself pure for Christ and a future spouse. It is possible with the help of the Holy Spirit. Avoid anything that will mar the glory of God in your life. Flee from anything untoward and cling to the precepts of God. Psalm 119:9-11, Matthew 7:6, Colossians 3:1,5, Matthew 5:8, Psalm 51:10, Philippians 4:8, Galatians 4:19-21, Romans 12:1-2, 1 Corinthians 6:13, 18, 2 Timothy 2:22-23, Hebrews 13:4, James 1:27, 1 Timothy 4:12, 1 Timothy 5:22, Titus 2:5, 2 Corinthians 6:6, Psalm 24:3-4, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 2 Corinthians 6:6
- Write down what you desire in your God-ordained spouse: – These qualities should be tangible and realistic and most importantly be based on the prompting and leading of the Holy Spirit. Analyze these qualities, analyze yourself. Are your own qualities deserving of the qualities you wrote down? Will these qualities help raise kingdom children in the future? Ascertain if you need some changes in your life to sustain you in the journey ahead.
Habakkuk 2:2, Jeremiah 30:2-3
Noteworthy
- Give a place for the Holy Spirit to fill your life.
- And allow him to lead you into all truths concerning your purpose, your career, and your spouse. Do not take the place of the Holy Spirit by distracting yourself so you forget about feeling lonely. Allow him to work on your loneliness by filling the gaping hole in your life. Do not stop praying for your spouse, yourself, and the journey ahead.
To conclude, those who wait on the Lord during this chillaxing period will not find themselves overburdened or taxed. They shall feel a continued sense of peace and renewal. If you decide to let God go ahead of you while you wait on him for your Kingdom spouse, he will increase your strength for the journey ahead. Isaiah 40:29-31
Stay blessed.
by: Lois Asibuo
